Blame
by DebC75
Summary: Natalie chooses between LC & Nick, sequel to Proposal
1. Chapter 1

Blame -- a Valentine Story   
by Fleurette 

Part I 

LaCroix followed Natalie inside, vaguely aware that his son had been watching them. Now he felt that Nicholas had left. He wondered if Nicholas had known it was he who had held Natalie in his arms tonight. He could feel his son's anger. It was a blind rage that had begun to melt away into a dull ache. There was still no sign of his having recognized LaCroix. Obviously, Nicholas had been too upset at seeing his beloved Natalie with another that he hadn´t taken the time to see who it had been. 

Natalie took his hand, drawing his mind back to her and away from Nicholas. "You seem distracted, Lucien," she commented, leaning closer to kiss him briefly. She pulled away and turned towards the kitchen. "Can I get you anything?" she asked. 

LaCroix shook his head. "I doubt, ma cherie, that your kitchen holds anything which could satisfy me. I am quite all right with you by my side." So saying, he pulled her closer to him and glided to the couch, where he sat with her on his lap. 

Natalie snuggled into his embrace, feeling both secure and shy in his arms. She was unsure of what to do now that she was alone with him. They had never been *this* intimate before, although a few times they had come close to it. Tentatively, she leaned forward and kissed his lips. LaCroix returned her soft, butterfly kiss with his own more confident one. His arms tightened around her, drawing her closer and crushing her body against his own. He wanted her badly, more than he could remember wanting anyone else. She had gotten over her surprise at his aggression and had begun to return his kisses in kind. Their bodies responded to each other with longing. 

As Natalie ran her hand along his chest, LaCroix felt himself change. Despite what had been said in the woods that night, he was afraid to reveal his true vampiric nature to her. Yes, she had said she could accept him for what he was, but that didn't stop him from fearing that she couldn't. When his fangs grazed against her teeth, he felt her sudden fear. Immediately, he let go of her. 

"Don't stop," she said, her voice breathless. 

"I must," LaCroix told her. He didn't want to. He ached to hold her in his arms, to fall asleep cradling her warm body. This frustration was thick in his voice when he said, "You're not ready for this, Natalie. You're not ready for me." He started to stand, but she grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him back to her. 

"Yes, I am," she told him, emphasizing it with a quick kiss. "I need you so much, Lucien. Can't you see that?" 

"I feel your need, my dear, but I also feel your fear. You cannot hide it from me." He gathered her into his arms and began stroking her hair gently. "You must have no fear of me when we make love for the first time." 

"This isn't our first time, Lucien. We've done this before." 

"*Natasha* and I have done this before, my dearest Natalie," he reminded her gently. "Though you hold her memories and experiences in your heart, there is more to you than her. Because of that, you may know what is to come, but you still fear it." 

Natalie could not hide from the truth of his words. They hurt her, because they said that a part of her still did not trust him. 

LaCroix looked into her eyes and saw the sorrow that his words had caused. "You know not how sorry I am, my dear," he said in a low, comforting voice. "I do not truly wish to say good night and leave you here alone. But I cannot jeopardize our future by overlooking your fear." 

He rose from the couch and, kissing her on the forehead, turned towards the door. 

"Lucien... stay!" Natalie stopped him with the urgency in her voice. "Stay with me, please. We don't have to do anything, but please, just hold me while I sleep. I want to feel you near me."   


Nicholas was back. LaCroix could feel him watching them from nearby. He could also feel the hate which surrounded his son. For a brief second, he was divided as to what he should do. Should he stay with Natalie, whom he loved and desired, or should he try to smooth things over with Nicholas, whom he also loved? 

"I'm sorry, my dear," he said, coming to a decision at last. "I'm afraid I do not trust myself tonight. Tomorrow night, perhaps, when our minds are more clear." He kissed her once again at the door and took his leave of her.   
  



	2. Chapter 2

Part II 

LaCroix touched down along the banks of Lake Ontario. He had followed Nicholas long enough and was tiring of this cat-and-mouse game they were playing. If Nicholas wanted to speak with LaCroix so badly, then he would now have to come to him. 

Nicholas was nearby-- he could feel the aura of hate that surrounded his son. LaCroix looked thoughtfully out at the moon shining on Ontario's dark water. There had been a time-- plenty of times, actually--when he had wanted Nicholas to give in to his darker emotions. Now was not one of these times. He had actually hoped that they might someday make peace. Before Natalie had come to him, wanting to be taken back, LaCroix had looked upon their mutual concern for her as the stepping stone to good will. If he could only have convinced Nicholas that he had not been the mastermind behind Natalie's disappearance in Montreal. He hadn't been able to, however, and Nicholas now hated him more than ever. 

A whoosh of air and a sharp tug at their blood bond announced Nick's arrival behind him. As LaCroix began to turn, Nick hurled himself upon his master with all his vampiric strength. They both went sprawling on the ground. 

"How dare you!" Nick growled as he once again assaulted LaCroix, pummeling with clenched fists. Nick's blows became more violent as his rage drove him further. "I'll kill you for this!" 

Having been taken by surprise by Nick's aggression, LaCroix had been, at first, unable to ward off the blows. Now he shoved Nicholas aside with a force that sent him flying. Nick landed nearby with a thud. When he flew at LaCroix again, LaCroix easily grabbed him and sent him sprawling once more. "Nicholas! Stop this foolishness!" he commanded as his son came at him yet again, this time with the post from a nearby "No Trespassing" sign. When Nick raised his arm to deliver the blow, LaCroix's fist connected with his jaw. Nick went down in a heap. LaCroix wrenched the make-shift stake from his hand and held it menacingly over his heart. 

"Go ahead," Nick spat out. "Kill me if you're going to. If you don't, I *will* kill you!" 

"I have no desire to kill you Nicholas," LaCroix told him, tossing the stake aside. "I merely wish for you to listen to reason. Will you do that?" 

"I don't need to hear your lies. I know what you've done." 

"Do you now? And what, pray tell, have I done *this* time?" 

"You've used your powers to make Natalie think she is in love with you. You're controlling her mind in order to take her away from me." Nick looked up at his master. The moment he spoke the words, his anger subsided and grief welled up inside him. "You knew that I loved her, and for that you decided I shouldn't have her."   


The ancient vampire turned away as his son's sorrow washed over him. Nicholas had never been any good at controlling his emotions when they went wild. Moving away from Nick, he allowed him to stand. His back turned towards Nick, he began to speak. "What would you say if I told you that Natalie came to me of her own free will?" 

"I'd call you a liar. How can you possibly expect me to believe you?" Nick shot back, his anger returning. "I will never accept that." 

"Not even if it is the truth?" 

"The truth? You wouldn't know the *truth* if it bit you!" Nick spat at him. "Nat would never go to you willingly. I told her all about you. She loathed you as much as I do. The only way she would ever have gone to you was if you blinded her with mind control." 

"Blinded her? My dear Nicholas, you are the only one who has ever been blind. You fail to see what is before your very eyes. Natalie tires of your childish ways, and quite frankly, so do I. All you ever think about is yourself, Nicholas. Well, I have news for you. The entire world does not revolve around you. Natalie has finally realized this. She has at last quit doting upon you and begun to explore her life. That decision was hers to make, sans influences."   


LaCroix's words were said with a cruelty that stung Nick. He was taken by surprise by a thought that came to him suddenly and painfully. Had he somehow overlooked Nat's feelings? She had been distant ever since Montreal, but he'd chalked that up to the shock of having to regain her memory. In confusion, he flew off-- leaving LaCroix alone. 

***** 

Nick sat on the stairs leading to the upper level of the loft looking for all the world like the little boy whose best friend has moved away. Except his best friend had not moved away. She'd just decided not to be his friend anymore. 

His mind replayed everything that had happened since he'd brought Natalie back from Montreal on the family jet. He'd thought things had gone back to normal. Nat was home and had gone back to work. She still came over to the loft to hang out with him. But had things really been normal? LaCroix's words had planted seeds of self-doubt in his head. Now he couldn't remember if Nat had ever snuggled in to his arms while they watched videos. She used to, but had that all been before Montreal? 

A vision came to him from the recent past. He and Natalie standing before her door, saying good night. He leaned forward to kiss her forehead as he had done a thousand times since he met her. She stopped him, turning away before his lips could touch her skin. The memory faded, leaving Nick empty inside. She hadn't been very receptive to his attempts at closeness. In fact, the more Nick thought about it, the more it seemed to him that Nat had constantly avoided intimacy. Since Montreal, she'd been keeping him at a distance. How could I have missed it? he thought. Stupid, Nick. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

But what had happened to Natalie in Montreal? What had made her change her feelings for him? Nick's eyes narrowed. LaCroix. LaCroix happened to Natalie in Montreal. Somehow he'd managed to get inside her brain and make her hate him. Janette, of course, had been his accomplice. And LaCroix acted so concerned about her, as if her safety and my happiness meant something to him. He was just waiting for her to leave me, probably laughing at me the whole time. Nick's self-pity was leaving him, being replaced by a new bout of anger. How could I not have seen it? Nick thought. 

He stood suddenly, a resolution in his eyes. "I'll fix him," he said aloud to no one. "I'll get even with LaCroix if it's the last thing I do. I'll get Natalie back and make him suffer as I have suffered." His voice had raised to a shout. "You'll pay for this, LaCroix! You'll pay for trying to take Natalie away from me!"   
  



	3. Chapter 3

Part III 

Nat stood before the mirror, trying to see beyond the reflection. What did LaCroix see in her, if anything at all? Did he love her? If he did, why wouldn't he stay with her? He said he could trust himself and that she needed time to overcome her fear of him. "I'm not really afraid of him," she told her reflection. 

Aren't you? Natasha's voice countered from inside her head. After all that crap what's his name fed you about how dangerous intimacy can be between a vampire and a mortal, aren't you afraid? It seemed to Natalie that Natasha stared out at her from her own eyes, taunting her with the truth. 

"Okay... maybe I *am* a little scared, but not of Lucien. I know he won't hurt me." 

Of what, then? 

"I don't know. Myself, maybe." 

How so? Afraid you'll like it? Natasha's voice sounded sarcastically in Nat's mind. 

"Yes..." Nat whispered to her reflection. 

So what if you do? What difference will that make? 

"Who will I be then? I'm not you, Natasha, but will I also cease to be me?" Nat asked her inner self. She received no answer as the light in her eyes that associated with Natasha faded. Perhaps there was no answer. 

***** 

"I'm sorry for running out on you last night, Natalie," LaCroix told her as they sat on the big, black leather sofa in his apartment. "I hope you understand." 

"Actually, I do." She took his hands gently in her own. "You were right. If we try to push things while I'm still afraid, it will ruin our relationship." 

"Then you admit you are not ready?" The question held a note of sadness. 

"I'm not afraid of you, Lucien. I know in my heart that you would never intentionally hurt me," Nat told him. 

"But? You *are* afraid, my dear. Of what, may I ask?" 

Nat sighed. "I... I... I love you, Lucien. I love being with you. You treat me as if I was the only woman in the world. You make me feel so special. When we kiss or touch... I feel things I've never felt before. Natasha..." Nat paused, choking back a sob that rose unexpectedly in her throat. "... she was able to... embrace... your vampiric nature. She wanted it-- craved it. I know she wanted you to bring her across, but I don't know if that is what *I* want. More importantly, I don't know if I can embrace your beast the way she did. It... it scares me when I think about all the time I've spent telling Nick he can get away from it. Now, here I am about to embrace what he longed to escape. I'm confused, Lucien. I don't know which is the real me-- the one who told Nick he could end the immorality or the one who wants to be loved by you." 

When she finished her speech, she was crying. LaCroix gathered her into his arms and held her, stroking her hair and crooning softly in her ear. For a time, neither of them spoke, as each was lost in their own thoughts. 

"If you want to end this now..." Nat began, speaking at last. 

"No!" LaCroix exclaimed with vehemence. "I *love* you, Natalie." 

"But it was Natasha you fell in love with, not me." 

"Yes, it was indeed Natasha I loved. But hidden deep inside Natasha, there was always you. Natalie... when I took Natasha's blood, I could see... no, feel... who she truly was. She was you. I could feel your essence like a glove that fit snugly over hers. She is only a part of you. I may have been drawn in by the one part, but I always loved the whole." He brushed his lips across hers. 

Nat looked at him with wonder in her eyes. "I don't know if I give you what she gave you, Lucien. Perhaps you should find someone who can?" 

"Do you truly want me to find another?" he asked her, his voice washing over her like soft silk. He leaned in closer to brush her lips again with his own. 

"No..." she whimpered, giving herself in to the feel of his lips and his arms around her. She kissed him back. 

"Then, I'll wait for you to be ready," he said when they separated. 

***** 

Ellen Landry noted the slump to Detective Knight's shoulders when he walked into her office. "Hi, Nick," she greeted him. "Bad night?" she asked. 

"I took your advice and went to see Nat after work," he replied. 

"How'd it go?" Ellen asked. Nick's shoulders slumped even further. "I'm sorry, Nick. I guess it didn't go well, huh?" 

"No. It didn't *go well.* She was kissing her *date* when I got there." Nick's voice was thick with sarcasm and pain. 

"Oh, Nick!" 

Nick seemed to ignore Ellen's sympathetic cry. "I'll get her back, though... somehow" he muttered. He brightened up suddenly as he looked at the corpse on the table before them. "Anything new on this case, Ellen?" he asked, changing the subject. He began to leaf through the papers on her desk. 

This turnabout surprised Ellen. She hadn't known Nick very long... ok, only a night... but somehow she suspected that he hadn't really dismissed Natalie Lambert as quickly as he let on. 

"Nick... do you want to talk about what happened last night?" she asked. 

"No, I don't. I lost her, but it's no big deal." Nick held out a file to her. "Is this the latest on our guest here?" He inclined his head towards the dead woman. 

"Yes, it is. Here... let me show you what I found," said Dr. Landry as she gave up trying to understand the detective.   
  



	4. Chapter 4

Part IV 

Nick wanted to speak to Natalie-- badly. He wanted to see what LaCroix had done to her. Maybe if LaCroix had hypnotized her, he could bring her back to her senses? Nat might be a Resistor to Nick alone, but perhaps since LaCroix had already tampered with her thoughts, it would be malleable enough for him to fix whatever damage had been done. The question remained, however: what *had* LaCroix done exactly? LaCroix had said that she went to him of her own free will. He'd said Nick had been blind to her needs and changes. Although Nick was certain his master had done something to influence Natalie, deep within his heart he still felt doubt. He realized that he had indeed been blind. He never saw that she had been suffering. He had been living in his own little dream world--creating a fantasy life with a fantasy Natalie. 

Now, as he sat on a rooftop watching her door--waiting for her to leave for the Raven--he wondered if he could face her. He'd been stupid--blindly stupid--and now she hated him. Could he bear to look at her and see the hurt in her eyes? Hurt he had caused her? 

The door opened and Natalie stepped outside on LaCroix's arm She was all laughter and light as he led her to his car. When he held open the door, she stopped to kiss him before sliding into the black Jaguar. 

When their lips met, Nick felt a stab of pain and jealousy race through his heart. LaCroix... he thought, allowing the thought to vibrate down their vampiric link. ...I will repay... he added as LaCroix looked up and met his eyes with an even, challenging stare. Then he flew away.   


For her part, Natalie was enjoying her time with LaCroix. He had gone back to courting her. He took her to the opera, the ballet, fancy restaurants, dancing, and their customary long walks. He was as gentlemanly and as courteous as he always had been. The only change in their relationship was in the intimacy department. When they kissed, it was with an urgency and a desire which both disturbed and excited her. These kisses seemed to end much too soon, however, and if she asked him to stay the night, he would refuse. Each refusal came with a similar excuse: "I don't trust myself" or "you're not ready yet." 

Nat wished she could do something to make herself "ready" sooner. She wanted him to hold her and make love to her all night long. Some nights, she would dream about him, reliving the love affair between Natasha and Lucien. She would awaken, warm and tingly, remembering the feel of his lips against various parts of her body. All this made her ache for him.   


Seated beside him in the Jaguar, Nat reached over and touched his hand, squeezing gently. "I love you," she said suddenly. 

LaCroix glanced at her as he stopped at a red light. He smiled. "And I you, my dear." 

"Lucien... I've been thinking," she began. 

"Have you? Of what?" he asked as the light turned green. 

"We've been spending a lot of time together lately, and I thought... well, maybe we could... I'm hardly at home anymore," she stammered. 

"I've noticed that," LaCroix commented, trying to catch her eyes as he drove. He wondered what she was getting at. 

"I thought maybe things would be easier if we moved in together," she said at last. "And maybe if we did, I could get over this fear you say I have." 

Now she was grinning at him. He stopped the car just outside the Raven and stared at her in open wonder. He wouldn't have expected *that* from her in a million years. 

"Well?" She asked, her grin turning into Natasha's impish smile. "May I move in, or what?" 

"You surprise me, my dearest Natalie. I don't know what to say." 

" 'Yes' would be nice..." The grin was fading from her face, replaced by a look of worry. Sometimes when Natalie let Natasha's impulsive ways take over, she often found herself wondering if she had overstepped her bounds. 

LaCroix recognized the look that had suddenly come to Natalie's face. It was the same scolded-child expression Natasha had had on her face when she thought he was angry with her. Her lower lip stuck out, trembling slightly. He wasn't angry with her. Far from it. Surprised, yes, but pleasantly so. 

He took her in his arms, kissing her deeply until her head swam and her heart was racing. "I am honored that you wish to join me, my dear. However, my apartment is not quite fit for extra people right now." He paused when he saw the rejection in her eyes. He kissed it away. "Give me a few short weeks to make room for you, Natalie. I promise you, my feelings will not change in that time." 

They kissed again before finally entering the Raven.   
  



	5. Chapter 5

Part V 

"Well, Sydney," Nat said to her cat as she set the carrier down just inside the door of LaCroix's apartment, "this is it. Welcome to our new home." Sydney meowed gruffly from within the carrier. "I know, I know. You want out of there. Let me go find Lucien first, OK?" Sydney did not answer, and Natalie took that to mean an agreement had been made. She left him to search of LaCroix. 

She found him in the kitchen pouring bloodwine into a glass. 

"All finished?" he asked, seating himself at the oak table and patting the chair next to him. 

"All except for a few odds and ends. I'll go back for them later," said Nat as she sat down beside him. 

"And Monsieur Sydney?" LaCroix asked, raising an eyebrow slightly. He looked about for the cat. 

"He's still in his carrier. I thought it would be wise to unpack a little before we let him loose. Otherwise, he's sure to get in the way." 

"Of course." LaCroix drained his glass and rose to put it in the sink. All the while, Natalie watched him closely. "Is something the matter, my dear?" he asked. 

Nat shook her head. "I just have to get used to seeing you do that, I guess." 

"Do what?" 

"Drink blood," she replied after a brief pause. "Nick... tried not to drink around me, even if it was only cow." She spoke the words hesitantly, hating to mention Nick at all. 

"Is it uncomfortable for you... because it is it human blood?" LaCroix asked. 

"Not... so much. Though I have to wonder where you--" she stopped suddenly, feeling awkward. 

"Where I get it from?" LaCroix's voice was low and comforting as it washed over her, wiping away her fears about the question. "I assure you, Natalie, this blood was not taken by violence. It was... donated... quite willingly. Does that ease your mind any?" 

"Yes," Nat said, "but you didn't have to justify yourself to me. Thank you." 

"You're welcome, of course, but I *did,* my dear. Justification was necessary to assure your comfort in my home." He smiled and held his hand out to her. "Come. Let us go find Monsieur Sydney and free him from his prison." 

***** 

Later, after they had finished unpacking, LaCroix and Natalie sat together on the couch. Nat was snuggled into the crook of LaCroix's arm. Sydney curled into a ball on her lap and was purring contentedly. She really felt as if she was truly home. 

She looked up from the movie that was playing to find LaCroix staring at her intently. When their eyes met, they both smiled. 

Running his fingers through her hair, LaCroix sighed deeply. "I would that I could stay like this indefinitely, my dear, but the day wears on and I find myself fatigued. Tonight when I rise we shall celebrate with a night of dancing." 

"Oh, Lucien... I wish I could!" Natalie exclaimed apologetically. "Have you other plans already?" he inquired. 

Nat sighed sadly. "I have to work tonight. I traded shifts with a colleague so I could spend the day moving. I'm sorry, Lucien," she explained.   


LaCroix kissed her gently as he rose from the couch. "I understand perfectly, my dear. I know what it is like to have prior commitments. We'll celebrate another day." 

Natalie watched him as he began to walk back towards the bedroom. He turned back just before he disappeared inside. "Tell me, my dear... are you prepared for having to work with Nicholas again?" 

She stiffened slightly. Nick. She hadn't even thought about Nick when she switched shifts with Dr. Hastings. Could she handle him? "Yeah, I think so," Nat said as she removed Sydney from her lap and stood. "I can handle him."   
  



	6. Chapter 6

Part VI 

Nick stood by the Caddy, seething, as he watched Natalie kneel beside Dr. Landry, who was examining the body lying on the ground. "What is *she* doing here?" he asked his partner. 

Tracy shrugged. "She and Hastings traded off for the day. Is this going to be a problem, Nick?" She remembered all too well how difficult it had been to work with Nick before Nat had gone over to the day shift. 

"No. No problem at all," her partner replied. Somehow, Tracy didn't quite trust his words. With bated breath, she watched him walk across the parking lot to join the two coroners, then heaved a sigh of relief when he didn't start an argument with Nat. It was a good sign.   


"What have we got here, Doc?" Nick asked, not looking at Natalie. 

Ellen glanced between the two of them nervously. After working with Nick for several weeks, she had come to know him... a little. Nick was a quiet, odd man. He brooded constantly, but occasionally he came into her office with a smile on his face. He was always friendly to her, and it made her nervous to see how cold he was towards Natalie. To the woman he claimed to love, she reminded herself. 

"It looks like the same M.O. as the last one, Nick, but I'll have to wait until we get her home and on the table," she told him. "Wanna get her out of here, boys?" she called to the paramedics who waited a few feet away. "Natalie's going to be helping me with this one tonight," she commented to Nick. 

"Oh. That's nice." Nick's response was deadpan. 

"Are you going to stop by and visit me later, Nick?" Ellen asked, feeling like she was grasping at straws. Didn't he see that here was his chance to talk to Natalie, as he'd said he wanted to do? If he would only bend a little, perhaps they could resolve their differences. 

"Maybe... if I have time. There's a lot of paperwork to be done." 

"Have Tracy do it!" Ellen laughed. "It's not as if she does anything anyway." 

"Uh... I don't know about that, you two," said Nat, jumping into the conversation as they walked away from the crime scene. "Tracy probably still gets mad when Nick dumps the work on her." 

"Yeah, she does," Nick addressed Natalie for the first time. He also looked at her, meeting her eyes. Much to the surprise of both women, Nick smiled... his biggest little-boy smile. 

***** 

Nat looked up from the report Ellen had given her to read. "So... do you think Nick will show up?" she asked, causing the other woman to fix a look of interested concern on her. 

"I hope so, Nat. I really do." 

"Me, too. I'd like to talk to him," admitted Nat. 

"Really?" According to Nick's latest version of their relationship, Nat didn't want anything to do with him. Granted, Ellen *had* seen Nick's mood swing rather erratically from moment to moment, but he always seemed pretty intense when it came to Natalie Lambert. 

"Well... I feel like I owe him an explanation at least," Nat began. "I don't know if you knew this, Ellen, but Nick and I were pretty close once." She was surprised when Ellen nodded knowingly. "Oh! You do know. No matter, I guess. Our relationship was never much of a relationship, actually. Until my ill-fated trip to Montreal, that is. When Nick brought me back, he started romancing me like there was no tomorrow." 

"What's so wrong with that?" asked Ellen. "Nick's a kind, handsome man." 

"He is... but sometimes he just doesn't see anything other than what he wants to see." 

"How so?" 

"When I came back from Montreal, I hadn't yet fully regained my memory. I was lost and confused most of the time. Nick's new, full time attentions were smothering me when what I really needed was space. I felt crowded every time we were together. It was horrible because I loved him so much, but I felt like I couldn't connect with him anymore... that I couldn't share with him what had happened to me." 

"I see. Natalie, I must be honest with you. My first night here, Nick told me and Tracy that he'd asked you to marry him and you turned him down. He was really shaken when he found out you'd suddenly transferred to days. He took it hard," said Ellen. 

"I had a feeling he would, but I had to think about myself. I had reasons for not accepting his proposal. I told Nick the truth--I needed time. Unfortunately, Nick has a jealous streak in him." Nat sighed. "I just couldn't handle it anymore-- his mood swings, the jealousy. At the end of each night, I was so frazzled I couldn't sleep." She paused, sighing again in sadness. "I still care about Nick, and that's why I need to talk to him. He deserves an explanation for why I did what I did." 

Ellen hadn't actually expected Natalie to tell her so much. Years ago, before she'd switched over to the night shift, Nat had been her friend. They'd lost track of each other since then. "Nat... Nick says you have a new man in you life. Are you in love with him?" 

The question caused Nat to pale. She'd wanted to tell Nick about LaCroix in her own way, but now it seemed that he already knew. "Yes, I do. Nick's jealous, isn't he?" 

"He says he doesn't care, but I think he does. He has been awfully moody, Nat. When you do speak to him, go gently." 

***** 

Nick was standing in the doorway when Nat looked up from examining the body. She wondered how long he'd been there. If things had been different, she would have joked with him about sneaking up on her. "Oh hi, Nick," she said, smiling slightly at him. 

"Did Ellen finish that report for me? Reese wants an update on the case." There was no preamble, no "Hi, how are you?" He cut straight to business. Nat had hoped the smile he'd given her earlier had been a sign of good will. 

"I'm sorry, Nick, but Ellen just went on her dinner break. She knew you or Tracy would be in after that report, so she took it with her to finish. Shall I have her run it over to the precinct when she gets back?" Nat ventured another smile... which Nick ignored. 

"Sure, why not? It'll save me the trouble of coming back here," he answered her as he turned to leave. 

"Nick! Wait! Please don't go yet," Nat called after him. Nick turned around, returning to the doorway and leaning against it in a casual fashion. He didn't say anything and seemed to be waiting for her to continue. So, she did. "Nick, I... I've been wanting to talk to you. Please... come inside and close the door so we can have some privacy." 

Nick did as she said, closing the door behind him and returned to leaning against it in an almost insolent manner. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked her in an equally insolent tone. "I thought we said all there was to say the last time we had a deep and meaningful chat." 

"Nick, please..." Nat begged. "You're only making this harder than it has to be." 

"Harder than it has to be!" Nick snapped, his voice going up an octave. "You have no idea how hard this is! Just the thought of you with *him*... It makes me so angry, Natalie-- angrier than I can possibly ever describe!" 

"Well... that's part of what I want to discuss. We really need to talk things out, Nick. Maybe I could stop by the loft today... Oh, say around noon?" Nat suggested, realizing that if she pushed the issue now, Nick was likely to make a scene just as he had done in Joe Reese's office several weeks ago. 

"No, I don't think so," he said in a cold tone that surprised her. "I don't want you in my home. If you have something to say, then you can say it now." 

"Nick, if I'm to continue to act as your physician, then I have to have access to you!" 

"Maybe I don't want you to be my doctor anymore. Did you even stop to think about that?" Nick countered. 

"What about the cure? Don't you want to be mortal?" 

"No. Since I lost you, I have no reason to live as a mortal." 

"Nick!" Nat was shocked. 

"No, Nat!" Nick's voice broke into a sob. "You had no idea... but since I met you, you have been my reason for being. LaCroix knew that. He knew that I loved you, and knew that losing you would break me. It has! I have nothing left!" 

"Nick, what are you--?" 

"Don't you see what he's done, Nat? He's taken you away from me on purpose!" 

"LaCroix didn't take me away from you! I went to him because I love him, Nick!" Nat exclaimed in an exasperated tone. 

"You only think you love him, Nat, but you don't. Not really. He's confused your thinking. When you were lost in Montreal, he did something to your mind-- made you *think* you were in love with him. Don't you see that?" 

"That's not what happened, Nick." Nat sighed. "Do you want to know what happened to me in Montreal, Nick? Do you?" 

"Yes! I would. It's time some one was honest with me!" Nick shot back. 

Nat laughed a short, bitter laugh. "How could I be honest with you when I couldn't even be honest with myself?" Her words shut him up. "My flight to Montreal had been late, and they'd lost my luggage. All I had with me was my carry-on and the clothes on my back. Then my rental car broke a few blocks from the hotel. I decided to walk, rather than wait for a tow truck. I got down this deserted alley, and this guy mugs me. I screamed for help, but no one was there. The guy pushed me aside and my head hit the wall behind me. I don't really know how long I was unconscious, but when I woke up, I couldn't remember very much. I started wandering the streets, and a cop picked me up and took me to a homeless shelter." 

"Your amnesia was the result of the mugger pushing you down, then?" Nicked asked quietly. 

"Yes, Nick. The shelter was where I first discovered I didn't know who I was or where I belonged. The people there tried to help me remember. When I couldn't, they decided I needed a name. The mugger had my purse, so I had no form of I.D. to tell me who I was. They started throwing names out to me, and something started to stir inside my memory. Someone calling me Nat. I settled on "Natasha." It seemed like the right name." 

"Natasha?" Nick echoed, tasting the name on his tongue. He shook his head. "Uh-uh,' he said, "I don't think it's very you." 

"That's because she wasn't me, Nick," Nat explained. "She was... younger somehow. Naive, but not innocent. She was bubbly and carefree-- a free spirit. She was lot of things that weren't what I spent my life trying to be..." She trailed off, remembering the outfit Natasha had worn to try and impress LaCroix his first night in Montreal. How Janette had glared! It brought a slight smile to her face in remembrance. Then she continued with her story. She concluded by saying, "LaCroix gave her up to return me to you, Nick. How can you say that he acted out of evil intentions? All he wanted was your happiness." 

Nick was silent, staring thoughtfully at her. "You really believe that, don't you?" he spoke at last. "You really believe that he is this generous, selfless person? How?" 

"Because I've seen it, Nick! He isn't at all what you've said he is! He isn't a monster." 

"Nat, you don't know him like I know him. He's only acting-- pretending to be a caring, benevolent person. He's evil, Nat. The only reason he's done this is get back at me," insisted Nick. 

"Does *everything* revolve around you, Nick?" she asked, incredulous. Had he just not heard a word she said? "LaCroix hasn't *done* a thing. *I* went to him. *I* chose him. *I* love him. There is nothing to it that has anything to do with you. LaCroix didn't manipulate me into doing a thing that I didn't want to do anyway. He's done nothing except treat me with love and respect." 

"You just don't see it, do you?" Nick nearly shouted, grabbing her by the arms. "He's using you to get to me! When he's finished with you, he won't just discard you... he'll kill you! Nat, you mean nothing to him! Nothing! But you mean everything to me. That's why he wants you to love him, so he can take away the one thing I love in this world. You say he treats you with respect now, but that will change. He'll start to demand things from you and try to possess you... just as he tried to possess me and Janette. If you cross him, Nat, you'll be dead. You'll see!" 

"I don't believe that, Nick!" Nat shot at him, struggling to free herself from his grasp. 

"No! Well, believe this: he's done it before! Ask him about Fleur!" In his excitement, Nick's hold on her tightened. 

"Nick! Stop it! You're hurting me!" Nat cried out suddenly. She was crying.   


The pain in her voice caused Nick to stop. His eyes dropped to the floor, and he stepped away from her. There was a long, uncomfortable silence during which neither look at the other or spoke. Slowly, Nick raised his head. He didn't look like the angry, jealous vampire of moments before. Instead, he looked like the old Nick-- the Nick she had loved at one time. "Nat... I..." 

"Hey! There you are! I thought you would show up!" Ellen Landry's pleasant voice broke into what appeared to have been an apology. When she saw the averted looks and Nick's angsty expression, however, her smile faded. "I take it you two finally got to talk, huh?" 

"Yeah, we did," mumbled Nat as she wiped at the tears that slipped down her cheeks. 

"It couldn't have been all that bad, could it?" Ellen asked both of them. 

"Yeah, it was," Nick replied. He reached out to touch Natalie in a apologetic manner. "Nat... I... I'm really sor--" he began, but got no further when she jerked away from him. 

"Don't touch me!" she snapped at him. 

"Maybe I should go," Nick suggested, turning to the door. 

"Here," Ellen said, handing him the report she'd been working on. "You'd better take this, Nick." 

"Yeah, thanks..." was his deadpan comment. He glanced worriedly back at Natalie before slipping out the door. "I *am* sorry, Nat. I didn't mean it." His voice pleaded with her, but she turned her back on him.   
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Part VII 

The apartment was silent when Natalie returned home shortly after sunrise. She'd been too upset to drive home at first, so she'd gone for a walk to clear her head. Every word spoken between them had played in her head a hundred times. Each time, she heard Nick saying to her, "He's done it before. Ask him about Fleur!" The phrase echoed in her ears even now, filling the quiet apartment. 

Pushing open her bedroom door, she dropped her coat and purse on the floor and threw herself--exhausted--onto the bed. Sydney curled up by her feet, purring contentedly. The sound was soothing, and Nat found herself drifting to sleep despite the turmoil of her mind. 

She awoke later that afternoon, sitting upright in bed--a scream on her lips. The dream... no, nightmare... which had so upset her immediately faded from her memory, leaving behind a sense of sorrow. What had it been about? She couldn't remember now. Looking about her, she saw Sydney curled up at the foot of the bed. She wished she could sleep as peacefully as he was right now. 

Easing out of bed, Nat wandered to the kitchen to fix herself lunch. After searching the refrigerator and cupboards thoroughly, however, she determined that LaCroix didn't have the proper provisions. 

"I guess I'll have to go to the store now, Sydney," she said to her cat, who had awakened to find his owner missing and was now rubbing up against her legs. Sydney meowed in agreement as Nat headed for the bathroom.   


Hours later-- after lunch, a few errands, and a trip to her old apartment-- Nat returned home with the food. It was nearly sundown, and she knew LaCroix would wake at any moment. She wondered if she should ask him about Fleur. Nick had made it sound so important, but then, everything was important to Nick if it got him what he wanted. 

Opening his bedroom door slowly, Nat peeked in at LaCroix. He was still asleep, lying straight on his back with his hands folded across his chest. She'd seen Nick sleep like that before, and now wondered if it was common among vampires. 

He looked so serene as he slept. Nat felt the sudden urge to go over and kiss him as slept. Tip-toe-ing into the room, she made her way to the side of his king-sized bed. Leaning down, she brushed her lips against his. As she was about to draw away from him, however, his arms wrapped around hers in one fluid movement and Natalie found herself locked into his embrace. 

His lips crushed down upon hers in an unceremonious kiss. It was nothing like the tender, soul-melting kisses he gave her when he was wide awake. It was powerful-- harsh and hungry. In the midst of the kiss, Nat found that she was no longer on top of him, but crushed beneath his body on the bed. His hands roamed her body as he continued to kiss her. Her heart sounded loud in her ears. As exhilarating as the feeling was, a sudden fear took her. What if he didn't stop? What if, since he had just awakened, he needed blood-- her blood? Even as the thought entered her mind, she felt his fangs scrape ungently against the skin of her neck. 

"Lucien!" she gasped when his pressed the sharp points a little harder. "Lucien!" 

The urgency in her voice stopped him. Releasing her, he hurled himself to the other side of the bedroom. Nat looked up at him from the bed where she sat amid a tangle of blankets and sheets. His eyes had turned a wild, hungry red. He returned her frightened stare with an inhuman glare, then fled the room in rush of vampiric speed. 

After giving herself a few minutes to become composed, Natalie went in search of her lover. She found him in the kitchen, an empty bottle on the counter beside him. He froze when she entered, poised to grab a wine glass from the cupboard. 

Natalie's mind flashed back to all the times she'd found Nick's loft littered with empty bottles and all his glasses had been clean. Obviously, LaCroix's need had been strong enough to make him forego conventions such as glasses and cork screws. As she stepped inside the room, her foot tapped the discarded cork in confirmation of her assessment. 

"Lucien.." she began, finding her voice at last. 

"Natalie..." he echoed her and their eyes met. "I... ah... put some water on to boil. I thought you would enjoy some tea," he said, his words coming in a rush uncharacteristic of Lucien LaCroix. 

It was sort of endearing. 

Natalie smiled. "I'd like that. Thank you, Lucien." 

LaCroix's lips turned up slightly in what was almost a smile. He got out a cork screw and opened a second bottle of blood. Pouring some into his wine glass, he said to her, "The water is not quite ready. Please sit down, Natalie." 

He was just talking now to talk-- to compose himself and force back the beast her actions had unleashed. She could see that clearly. What was more, she could see fear in his eyes. 

"Lucien..." she began again. Something in her voice broke the tension between them. 

"Did I hurt you, my dear?' he asked, moving towards her. 

"No. No, you didn't. I... I was frightened--startled, really-- but not hurt," she replied. Taking a step closer to him, she put her hand on his arm. "Lucien, I'm sorry. I should have known." 

"You couldn't have." 

Nat met his eyes firmly. "Yes, Lucien. I *could* have. I *should* have known something like that was possible, but I didn't think about it." Her voice softened. "All I wanted--want-- is to kiss you." 

In less than a second, they were in each others arms. Their lips met in a continuation of the kiss she had initiated earlier. Forgotten, the tea kettle whistled angrily in the background as the kiss deepened.   
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Part VIII 

**Tonight's reflection, gentle listeners, is on the nature of love. Love is both the object of our desire and that primal urge which drives us. It both commands and obeys us. It shapes our minds and our souls. We would die for love... and we would kill for it. Tonight, gentle listener, the NightCrawler wants to know-- what are *you* willing to do in the name of love?** 

Nat snuggled deeper into the blanket as she sat on the couch listening to the NightCrawler. His question spoke to her. What *was* she willing to do for love? Tonight she had crossed a line she hadn't expected to cross. They'd nearly made love tonight. Nearly... but not quite. She trembled slightly in memory of his lips against hers and the pressure of his body on top of her own. She hadn't wanted it to stop this time, but it had. LaCroix had pulled away from her, unable to continue. His eyes hadn't gone completely red yet, but flecks of the beast could be seen in their blue depths. LaCroix had been scared. He'd said as much when he said he didn't trust himself. What happened in the bedroom had pushed LaCroix's powers of restraint to their limits. They both knew--from Natasha's experiences with him--that LaCroix had the strength to control his beast, but tonight was different. 

Thinking back on it, Nat had to wonder what would have happened if he hadn't stopped? Would she be dead now or something else? Could she live her life as a vampire? They'd never discussed it seriously before, nor had *she* given much thought to it on her own. What would I have done, Nat thought, if Lucien had brought me across? Could I have given up everything I have... everything I am... for him? 

You bet you could've! came Natasha's voice from the back of her mind. And you'd have loved it, too! 

"How do you *know* that?" Nat asked aloud. She was suddenly glad no one was there to hear her talking to herself. 

Because I *saw* the way you reacted to him today. You wanted him as much as I do, girlie. It sounded like Natasha was smirking at her. Besides, if you really had any doubts, you would have believed all that stuff what's-his-name told you. 

"Nick. His name is Nick." 

So? He's not important. Lucien is, Natasha countered. And besides, who cares really what *Nick* says? It wasn't true anyway. 

"You don't know that, Tasha," said Nat. She fell silent as her attention was drawn suddenly back to the NightCrawler Show. LaCroix was expounding on the human need to twist facts to fit their own selfish purposes. 

Kind of fitting, isn't it? That's exactly what what's-his-name does. 

Does he? Nat thought, forcing Natasha out of her mind. Throwing the blanket aside, she jumped up and went to turn off the radio. Does he, really? How do I know which one of them is actually telling me the truth? 

Seeds of doubt having been planted in her brain, Natalie began to ponder *everything* she knew about both her vampire men. Which one of them could benefit from lying to her? Were they lying? He's done it before, Nat... Nick's voice echoed in her brain once again. 

"I have to know for certain..." Nat whispered, unaware that LaCroix had returned and was standing in the doorway. 

"What was that, my dear?" he asked suddenly, causing her to jump. "What is it you need to know? Perhaps I may have an answer for you." 

"Oh! Lucien, you startled me. I must not have heard you come in," she said, her words tumbling out in a rush. 

"Apparently not. You seemed quite preoccupied just now. May I inquire as to the nature of your preoccupation?" 

Don't tell him! Natasha was back. I *have* to know, Nat shot back at her mentally. 

"Well, my dear?" LaCroix asked again in a more demanding tone. "Is something the matter? You seem pale. Are you ill?" He took a step towards her in a gesture of concern. 

"No, I-- I'm not ill, Lucien." 

"What, then?" 

"I... I had a run in with Nick last night. He... said some things that--" she stopped short as a sob rose suddenly into her throat. "He... he said..." another sob came, and Natalie sank to the couch in tears that she hadn't realized had been there. She didn't really want to know the truth. The truth could ruin her life and take away the man she loved. 

"What did Nicholas say, ma petite? Something about me, perhaps? Some sharp, hateful thing intended to make you hate me?" He was sitting beside her now, his arms around her--comforting and strong. His voice, however soothing, also held a note of anger. 

She nodded, her cheek brushing against the softness of his Armani suit. "I... didn't believe him..." she choked out. 

"Of course not," LaCroix purred. "Why would you have reason to believe him?" He kissed the top of her head and stood. 

"W-where are you going, Lucien?" she asked. 

"Nicholas made a mistake by upsetting you and making you cry, ma petite. He must be taught manners," was LaCroix's response. Again Natalie heard the anger in voice, stronger now. 

A sudden fear gripped her. What would he do? She did not try and stop him, however. 

See? I knew you wouldn't ask him. It *wasn't* that important after all, gloated Natasha at Nat's failure to ask about Fleur. 

"Lucien!" Nat cried out suddenly, stopping him at the door. He turned to face her. "Please, Lucien, don't. Stay here with me. I don't want to cause problems between you and Nick." 

"You haven't caused the problem, my dear, Nicholas has. He *must* pay." He turned again to leave. 

Forgetting the perfection of vampiric hearing, Natalie whispered in defeat," Who was she, Lucien? Who was Fleur?" 

The question stopped him from flying off, dropping him to the ground like a dead-weight. When he turned back to her, his features had gone cold and expressionless. "Where did you hear that name, Natalie?" he asked, his tone as icy as the rest of him. 

"Nick. I... Lucien, who is she?" Nat stammered, unable to comprehend the sudden change in him. 

LaCroix closed his eyes in what Nat assumed was an effort to control his anger. "Nicholas..." he whispered softly before opening his eyes again. She could see hate in them. "You must never speak that name in this house again, Natalie. Do you hear me? *Never.*" His voice was cold, cruel, and commanding. She'd never seen him like this before. 

"But, Lucien! I must know who--" 

"No!" LaCroix roared, making no effort to control his anger now. "You have no need of that information. If you love me, you will forget you ever heard her name." 

"If I love you! If *you* loved me, you would tell me!" Nat countered, becoming angry herself. 

"That I cannot do, Natalie. Please honor my wishes and say nothing of it again." 

"I won't. I want to know. Nick said--" 

"So, you believe him now, do you? Ask him then, for I will not tell you." His voice was so cold now, Nat could *feel* it. He turned suddenly and flew away without another word. 

Nat sank to the couch again, crying helplessly. "What have done?" she sobbed aloud in the all-too-empty room. 

You screwed up everything, that's what you've done, Natasha snapped at her before receding in to Nat's subconscious and leaving her utterly alone.   
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Part IX 

Nat picked up Sydney's carrier and paused in the doorway of LaCroix's apartment. She was grateful now that she had decided not to relinquish her old apartment so quickly. Otherwise, she would now have nowhere to go. Sydney meowed disdainfully from the carrier. "I know, I know. We've done this a lot lately, haven't we, Sydney? What else is there to do?" 

You could stay and work things out with him, came Natasha's voice from the back of her mind. Nat ignored her this time. 

"Come on, Sydney. It's time to go," she said to her cat as she closed the door behind her. 

Glancing back one last time, Nat felt as if she had just closed the door on her entire life. What was left for her now? How could she possibly go on in this town, knowing that the one person she loved was so close and yet so far, far away?   


It was several days before LaCroix returned to his apartment. He had not gone, as he had first intended, to fight with Nicholas. When he had first left Natalie that night, he had been too grieved over Fleur--too distraught by the fact that her own brother had betrayed her memory--to think straight. He'd flown for hours at a break-neck speed, allowing the cold wind to rush over him until his pain subsided into dullness. 

When dawn was fast approaching, he retired to one of many resort spots he owned around the globe. The closest one--a hunting cabin in the wilderness on the US side of Lake Ontario, not far from where he'd taken Natalie on a night not so long ago--was where he had remained for the better part of week. As it was rustic, with no electricity or phone lines, LaCroix had not called home. Indeed, he hadn't thought to do so. Whether he'd expected Natalie to remain in his home or not had not crossed his mind. 

Nevertheless, when he finally returned, he found the apartment devoid of things which Natalie had brought with her to give it a lived-in look. He inhaled deeply, his nose telling him that neither Natalie nor Sydney had been there recently. The air was musty and stale. Making a mental note to open a window later, he went to Natalie's room. Opening the door, he found it empty; although at this point, that came as no surprise. 

As he turned to close the door, however, something caught his eye. Upon the pillow on the bed, there was a blue envelope which he recognized to be from the stationary Natalie frequently used. 

**LaCroix,** So, we are back to "LaCroix" now, he thought as he stared at the letter Natalie had left him. He suddenly felt empty... emptier than he had felt in hundreds of years. 

**What I feel for you cannot be expressed in mere words, and I thought at one time that you knew this. Indeed, I thought that our relationship was one based on mutual honesty and respect. What I find instead is that I don't really know the man I love. I came to you asking for the answer to a simple question, to prove that Nick was wrong about you. But instead of doing that, you cut me off completely. I am torn now between my feelings for you and the desire to know the truth.Therefore, I think it is best if we spend some time apart, so that we both can decide what we really want. Sydney and Ihave gone back to my apartment for now. I'm not sure that I want you come after me just yet. I need time. I do love you,Lucien, but I cannot live on lies and half-truths. I hope you can understand that. 

--Natalie** 

At first, LaCroix went about his daily routine as if nothing had changed. He did his NightCrawler shows every night and spent, perhaps, a bit more time at the Raven than usual, but he didn't let anyone see that he was hurting. 

Yet, hurting he *was.* Often, as he watched the young ones, mortal and vampire alike, performing their pagan rituals on the dance floor, he was reminded of the way Natasha--and later, Natalie--had danced with him. Indeed, all around him the world seemed to be in love. The more he tried to ignore it, the more intense his heartache became. What was worse, however, was the strange fact that his eyes were now playing tricks on him. He would look out across the sea of gyrating bodies and se her standing there on the edge of throng. When he went to her, however, she would disappear, leaving him to stand there-- lost and confused. 

This night was no exception. After ending his monologue--one that he had only half-heartedly recited--he had retired to the bar in order to drown his sorrows in the Raven's finest blends. No sooner had he found a quiet table and poured a glass of the bloodwine when he saw her on the edge of the dance floor, flirting with a younger vampire. He jumped up and strode forth, pushing aside those who got in his way. When he reached the young one's side, it was not Natalie, but another, younger vampire--one who looked nothing like his beloved--who had been flirting so boldly. 

Confused, he started to turn away and was intercepted by Ursula, who pulled him into the thickest part of dancing crowd. "W-what is the meaning of this?" he asked her, struggling to make sense of what had just happened. 

"I was about to ask you the same thing... uh, sir," Urs said half-shyly. "You wanna talk about it here or back at your table?" 

"Not here," LaCroix growled at her. "And what makes you so certain there is anything to talk about, child?" 

Urs shrugged. "I've been watching you. Lately, you haven't been yourself, sir." 

Her concern softened his expression, and as LaCroix led her back to his table, he said to her, "You don't have to call me 'sir,' Ursula. 'LaCroix' will do nicely." 

"LaCroix, then," Urs agreed as he held out a chair for her to sit. She smiled a little. "That's kind of you. Javier doesn't do such things for me." 

"The Spaniard doesn't know how to treat a lady." 

"I'm hardly a lady by any standards, LaCroix," Urs said modestly, "but we're not supposed to be talking about me. We're supposed to be talking about you and Doc Lambert." 

LaCroix was staggered. He had thought he and Natalie had been fairly discrete. "What about... myself and Dr. Lambert?" he asked. 

"You were dating, and now you're not," supplied Urs. "It has you shaken up. I can tell. Why don't you do something about it?" 

"Like what?" LaCroix asked her, suddenly feeling touchy. "What would *you* suggest I do, ma jeune?" 

Urs ignored the sarcasm in his voice and went on. "Talk to her. I don't know what happened--I don't *want* to know--but I know she loved you. Everyone could see it in the way she looked at you and the way she responded to you when you came in here to dance. Knight never made her act that way. It was only you. If you go to her and talk about it, whatever it is, I'm sure the problem will go away." 

LaCroix could only stare at her. Was it really that simple? He, a 2000 year old master, had to be taught the ways of a relationship by a wide-eyed child? Urs's innocence astounded him. 

"What else do you think I should do? If you were in my place, how would you win back your love?" he asked her. 

"Tell her how you feel-- that you love her, that you miss her. Be honest. Women *love* that kind of stuff." 

"And... *when* exactly should I do this thing?" 

"When?" Urs pondered. "Why, now, of course! You should go to her right now. Every moment you wait is a moment wasted." 

Her enthusiasm was catchy, it seemed. Yes... he thought. I *will* go see her now. He stood suddenly and bent to kiss Urs on the forehead. "Thank you, my dear! You have helped me more than you know," he said as he left her sitting there, staring bewilderedly at his retreating back.   


***** 

Nick came down the stairs in a robe, his hair still wet from his shower. Going to the refrigerator, he reached for a bottle-- which he nearly dropped when he turned and found his master behind him. 

"LaCroix..." he said tensely. What could his master want with him now? "I see you're back finally. Nat said you'd left." 

"Have you seen her, Nicholas?" LaCroix asked quickly when Nick mentioned her name. "Have you seen my dearest Natalie?" 

Nick could barely hide his surprise. Was *this* the LaCroix he had known for 800 years? How could it be? The vampire before him was...? Agitated and love sick? "Not since she came here... close to week ago. She said you'd... had a fight and that you left her and hadn't been back since." Nick studied LaCroix carefully. He was shaking. "LaCroix, would you care to sit down? I'll get you a drink, and we can talk." 

"I don't want your cow swill, Nicholas," LaCroix countered in rejection. 

'It's... it's not cow," replied Nick, averting his eyes. "I've... gone off my regimen." 

Their eyes met, each one searching the other in silence. Finally, Nick spoke again. "Nat told me what you were fighting about. She asked me about Fleur." 

LaCroix was surprised at Nicholas's candor... and a little angry. He remembered how close he'd come to finding his son and killing him that night. In fact, he wasn't quite sure what had stopped him. 

Nick could feel his master's rising anger, but pushed on regardless. "It was all my fault, LaCroix. I spoke without thinking that night at work. I wanted to win Nat back so badly that I thought if she hated you, she would come back to me. When she didn't listen to reason, I blurted out that stuff about Fleur, and once I realized what I'd done, I regretted it. I'm sorry. I know you can't forgive me... I can't even forgive myself." 

"Did... did you tell her about your sister, Nicholas?" LaCroix asked in a near-tremulous voice. 

Nick shook his head. "How could I? How could I bring myself to lend an evil light to her blessed memory? It was bad enough that I did what I did. I couldn't tell her." 

"So now, she is angry with both of us," stated LaCroix evenly. 

"So it would seem. I *am* sorry, LaCroix. When she told me you were missing, I tried to find you," he said. 

"Why?" 

"I don't know," he admitted. "When I saw how upset Nat was, I realized how wrong I had been. I thought maybe if I could find you, I could set things right. Do you really love her, LaCroix, as I do?"   


They talked now, as they had never talked before-- each of them listening and hearing for the first time. LaCroix told his son about the young and vibrant Natasha and how much it had pained him to lose her. Nick listened, hearing his master for the first time in centuries.   


"You really did give her up just for me?" he asked when LaCroix finished his story. 

"You find that hard to believe?" 

"Yes, I... I would never have guessed you to be capable of such a selfless act," Nick admitted. 

"What does it matter anyway, if neither of us knows where she is?" LaCroix asked, reminding Nick that Nat was apparently missing. 

"I... I *could* call Grace," he suggested. Seeing the puzzled look on LaCroix's face, he added, "Grace Balthazar. She used to work with Nat on the night shift. They were close friends. If anyone, Grace would know where Nat is." So saying, he reached for his cell phone and began pushing buttons. 

LaCroix listened impatiently as Nick spoke to Grace, trying to read his son's expressions. "Well?" He asked when Nick set the phone down. "Was Ms. Balthazar helpful?" 

"She says Nat took a leave of absence for health reasons. She's baby-sitting Sydney while Nat's on vacation." 

"Did she say where Natalie went, Nicholas?" Hope sprang into LaCroix's eyes. 

Nick shook his head again. "And considering Nat has one of your bank cards, she could be anywhere," he added. 

They both heaved a sigh. Nick grabbed the bottle he'd all but forgotten about and poured out two glasses. This time, LaCroix accepted it gladly. After a long silence, Nick spoke again. 

"I love her, LaCroix," he said. 

"As do I." 

"Then we have a problem. Who gets her?" Nick set his now empty glass aside. 

LaCroix remembered something Urs had said about honesty and game-playing. "Perhaps the lady should decide for herself, Nicholas," he commented. 

Nick's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" 

"Just what I say. We should not choose for Natalie. She won't appreciate it." 

"Let her choose between us?" Nick asked suddenly. "What if she picks one us over the other?" he asked. 

LaCroix laughed. "That, my boy, is the whole point. If she chooses you, I will step aside in favor of her happiness. If she chooses me, you shall do the same. Agreed?" 

"You would do that-- give her up if it meant she would be happy?" Nick asked. "Even if you were miserable?" 

"Yes." LaCroix replied. "I love her, Nicholas. I love her with such intensity that I would chose to die, if that pleased her." 

"Me, too." 

"Are we agreed, then?" LaCroix asked again. 

"What if she rejects us both?" Nick asked. 

"Then we both bow out." 

"So be it, then," Nick said, agreeing at last. "Now what?" 

"Unless you know where Natalie is, we wait," LaCroix said before draining his glass. 


	10. Chapter 10

Part X 

And where exactly *was* Natalie? About three days after she left LaCroix's apartment, she dropped Sydney off at Grace's house and headed out for Montreal. She took a bus this time, and from the Montreal bus station, she took a cab to Janette's club. 

She had to know the truth about her two vampires. What was this thing between them that had made them so bitter? Who was Fleur? What did she have to do with the failed relationship between Nick and LaCroix? What did any of it have to do with her? Had Nick and LaCroix been playing a game? Was she the prize or merely a pawn? Did they realize what they were doing and the consequences of it all? She didn't know how she knew Janette would be able to answer these questions. She only knew that, somehow, Janette would have the answers she craved. 

That was how, on one rainy day in early June, Natalie Lambert found herself--wet and shivering--knocking on a very familiar door. Had she not given Jasmine the keys, she would have let herself in. 

When Jasmine opened the door, sleepy-eyed and wrapped in a satin robe, her eyes went wide. "Tasha!" she exclaimed, reaching out to hug her lost friend. She stopped short suddenly. "Dr. Lambert, I mean," she said a bit more formally. She smiled slightly. 

Nat returned the smile, reaching out to hug her former roommate. "You can still call me 'Tasha,' Jas. She's still a part of me." 

"You don't mind?" 

"Not at all." Nat smiled at the energetic vampire before her. 

"I just feel uncomfortable about it," Jasmine told her. 

"You shouldn't be, Jas. We were friends." 

Jasmine shifted her weight uncomfortably and then said, "You wanna come in?" 

Nat followed her into the apartment. Looking around, she couldn't help noticing the disarray that surrounded her. "You had a party, didn't you?" she asked with a mischievous grin. 

"Could you tell?" Jasmine's grin mirrored hers. "A group of us got together for Rock's birthday." 

Nat laughed. "When does a vampire stop celebrating their birthday, Jas?" 

The vampire shrugged. "I celebrate every once in a while, but not too often." She paused, seeming to consider the nature of birthdays. "Some people don't celebrate them at all. After you have so many of them, what's the point?" 

"What indeed? How was the party?" 

"It was a blast! You should have been there, Tash!" Jas let slip the name again, but this time she didn't apologize or correct herself. "Rock would have loved it!" 

"I wish I could have," said Nat wistfully. 

"I don't have any thing for you to eat, Tash," Jasmine continued, not really noticing the thoughtfulness of Nat's expression, "but you're welcome to whatever I have." 

As it was near to noon, Nat didn't feel the need to keep Jasmine awake. "A place to crash would be great," she said, emulating Natasha a bit. "I'm whipped!" 

"Sure! No problem. You're room's still here." Jasmine grabbed Natalie's suitcase and led the way back to Natasha's old room.   


Later, after sleeping most of the afternoon, Natalie woke feeling hungry. After showering and dressing, she left a note for Jasmine, before going out in search of food. 

She had lunch in a small, European-style cafe. She had to admit that she loved Montreal in some small degree. It was a comfortable mix of Europe and the New World. More to the point, it felt like home. Montreal was the place where Natasha had come into being. She had been born, lived, and in a sense, died here. Every street corner, storefront, cafe and house were as familiar to her as those of Toronto. 

But Montreal also reminded her of LaCroix. She could remember going to the movies or dancing with him. She could remember how happy Natasha had been in Montreal with LaCroix, just as she herself had been happy with him in Toronto. She smiled as she sipped her mocha cafe, remembering her outings with LaCroix-- the long walks, late dinners, the opera and the theater... or just snuggling at home. She sighed, realizing that she may never be able to be that happy again.   


Natalie knocked nervously on the door to Janette's office. After perusing the club and not finding her there, she'd decided to look elsewhere for Janette. 

"Entrez!" Janette called out from behind the door. Nat opened it slowly and stepped inside. "Natalie!" Janette exclaimed, rising from her desk, where she had been going over invoices. "I... heard a rumor that you had returned. I'm so pleased." She approached Natalie and hugged her briefly. "We've missed you around here," said Janette as she stepped back to look at Nat. 

Nat smiled. "I've missed being here," she said in reply. It was true. She *had* missed Natasha's simpler lifestyle. 

"Is that what brings you back to Montreal, Natalie? You missed us?" Janette asked. Her voice held a note of skepticism and doubt. 

"No, it wasn't that." 

"What, then?" Janette met her eyes, reading there insecurity and sorrow. "What have *they* done this time?" she asked, knowing immediately what had brought Natalie from Toronto. 

"It's a long story, Janette." 

"Luckily, I have all the time in the world to hear your story," she was told with a light laugh. "What happened, Natalie?" 

"I fell in love... with LaCroix," Nat began. 

"Oh... really? Nicolas did not take it well, I suppose?" 

"No, he didn't. Especially after I turned down his marriage proposal." 

"Marriage!?" Janette exclaimed. "Please," she said, a smile spreading across her face, "start from the beginning, Natalie, so I may understand this thing fully." 

By the time Natalie finished telling her story, Janette sat in awe. "Nicolas behaved... *that* badly? I thought LaCroix and I had taught him more manners than that, Natalie. I am sorry." 

"That isn't even the half of it, Janette," Nat admitted. 

"Oh?" 

"LaCroix and I moved in together." 

Her words caused Janette to gasp. "He *is* serious about you, then," she said. 

"I thought so, too, but..." 

"But what? What happened?" 

"I had to work the night shift one night, because I'd traded with a friend so I could finish moving into Lucien's apartment. Nick was there, and we had a fight. He kept insisting that Lucien was just using me to get even with him for something or other. Then he told me something that put me in doubt of everything I thought I knew." 

"What was that?" 

"He told me that Lucien had done this sort of thing before, and then he told me to ask Lucien about Fleur." 

"He didn't!" Janette gasped in surprise and dismay. "How *could* he? What was he possibly thinking? He should have known LaCroix would never tell you such things!" 

So, Janette *did* know about the mysterious Fleur. "Janette, was I wrong to ask Lucien abut her?" 

"You asked him!?" Janette sounded horrified. 

Nat nodded. "But he refused to tell me. We argued over it. He said if I loved him, I'd forget about it. I told him that if he loved me, he'd be honest with me. What Nick said... it caused me to doubt the basis of my relationship with LaCroix, Janette. I needed him to be honest with me. Why wouldn't he? Who *was* she?" 

Janette shook her head, sighing sadly. "You ask a difficult question of me, Natalie. I know not whether I should tell you or keep silent. Surely both Nicolas and LaCroix would prefer I keep quiet about it." She sighed again. "I must think on this, Natalie. It is not an easy decision. Please give me time." 

"I will, but I must know one thing... why would Nick mention Fleur if he didn't really want me to know about her?" 

"He is thoughtless," Janette stated. "He didn't think before he spoke. I'm certain he regretted it immediately afterwards, but by then... it was too late." 

***** 

**Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?   
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:   
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,   
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:   
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines   
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;   
And every fair from fair sometimes declines,   
By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed;   
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,   
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;   
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,   
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:   
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,   
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.** 

**Thus spoke the Bard of Stratford-on-Avon in the year sixteen hundred and nine, echoing the common sentiments of his age. To the poet and the artist, their works were a means of obtaining the eternal. In their poetry, paintings, and statuettes not only their subjects but they themselves would become immortalized... forever etched upon the mind of humankind. I wonder, however, if this is true. Are pens and paintbrushes all that are needed to ensure immortality? Who would desire such an eternity, the eternalization of one moment in life? When the subject of the poem withers and grows old, the poem remains, it is true. Yet... who would wish for such a painful reminder of what one has lost?** 

"I wonder where he's going with this," Nat commented to Janette as she came in the room. She then turned off the radio, as hearing LaCroix's voice brought back painful memories. 

Janette smiled slightly. "Immortality... eternity... They are the things he dwells upon the most. Tell me, Natalie, have you ever thought about it... about what kind of eternity you would prefer?" 

Nat stammered for a moment, unable to answer her. Janette was, essentially, asking her if she'd ever considered being brought across. Only once in her life, aside from when she had become Natasha, had she ever considered being brought across. That was during the asteroid scare., nearly a year ago. She'd asked Nick to bring her across then, when she thought her only chance at survival was to become a vampire. However, she had never seriously considered it or its ramifications. "Not really," she said at last. 

"That is a shame," Janette said wistfully. "You would have made the perfect sister... had I still belonged to LaCroix." 

It took Nat a few seconds for the implications of Janette's words to sink into her brain. "He was planning to bring me across?" she asked in amazement. 

"Who knows?" Janette replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "Although, I would be inclined to assume that would be the case. If he truly loved you, Natalie, LaCroix would not stand by and watch mortality steal precious seconds from your life. He would want you to be with him for all eternity. It has ever been true of him." 

Natalie watched her closely. Something in Janette's eyes told her that there was more to her speech than what her words entailed. "This is about Fleur, isn't it?" she asked suddenly. "You're going to tell me about her, aren't you?" 

"I *should* not, Natalie. Both LaCroix and Nicolas would hate me for it, but I feel you have a right to know what you have gotten into. Yes, I will tell you." Janette sighed deeply, then said, "Her name was Fleur de Brabant, and she was Nicolas's little sister. He loved her more than anything else in the world, but LaCroix loved her even more." Quietly... slowly, Janette spoke, painting a portrait of star-crossed lovers destined to forever be separated by circumstance. "LaCroix blamed Nicolas for her death, because had he not meddled years before, Fleur would still be alive. He turned a cold shoulder to the world after that, nothing pleasing him. Also, he vowed that Nicolas would never know love, for if he found a mortal woman whom he loved as deeply as LaCroix had loved Fleur, that woman would die." 

Nat gasped. "That's what Nick meant! He thinks LaCroix took me away from him to get even with him for Fleur's death!" 

"I believe he does, Natalie. I, however, do not see it that way. I truly believe that LaCroix cares about you. He may even love you, but Nicolas may never see that. To him, LaCroix is incapable of true love." 

After a moment of silence, Nat asked, "Why couldn't Lucien tell me that himself?" her voice was soft and tremulous with sad emotion. 

"For all their differences, LaCroix and Nicolas had one thing in common-- they both deeply revered Fleur. When she died, she became as a saint in their eyes. This is why it surprised me that Nicolas would throw her name about so boldly. In the past, neither of them would speak about her at all." Janette paused reflectively. "LaCroix loved her too much. Not only would it be painful for him to discuss her, he would not risk soiling her memory. She is his angel-- pure and innocent. To stoop to Nicolas's level of childishness would have placed a blemish upon her life and death. He would not do such a thing." 

They were both silent for several long minutes before Natalie spoke. "Thank you for telling me, Janette. You've given me a lot to think about. I think I need time to understand what you've said, though." 

Janette smiled weakly. "Of course. I'll leave you alone with your thoughts." Janette turned to leave. At the door, she hesitated. "You *do* still love Lucien, don't you?" 

"Yes... I do, and don't know what to do about it," Nat replied. 

Janette held her gaze for a seconds and then smiled. "Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be for the best," she said as she glided soundlessly out the door and closed it behind her. 

"I hope so, Janette," Nat whispered to the closed door. "I truly hope so."   
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

Part XI 

Natalie smiled as she examined herself in the mirror. Her hair was perfect, her make-up was perfect, and she *felt* perfect. Nothing could take away the wonderful feeling she felt inside herself that night. She stepped back to enjoy the view of the new dress she'd acquired in Montreal. Lucien was in for a big surprise tonight, no doubt about that! 

Lucien... she thought, sighing softly. She could feel a wave of nerves washing over at the thought of confronting him again. Would he take her back as Janette had say he would? Or would he spurn her? 

He'll take you back, of course! Natasha interjected. How can you doubt that? 

"Did you see how upset he was when he left the last time?" Nat shot back at her alter-ego. "How could he *not* still be angry?" 

Because he loves you! Natasha insisted. Now, come on! We've got a man to win back! 

Nat forced her nerves out of her mind for the rest of the drive to the Raven. Pulling into the parking lot, she checked her face in the mirror one last time before opening the door. There were tiny frown lines on her face where she'd been obsessing about it. "Now, stop this!" she told herself aloud. "There's nothing to worry about! He loves me." 

Opening the door, she stepped out of the car, only to be thrown back inside as another vehicle slammed into her from the side. Nat felt a momentary pain exploding throughout her body, and then, the world went dark. 

***** 

LaCroix looked up from the microphone to see Javier Vachon pounding on the sound booth glass in a frenzy. Switching to a commercial, he signaled for the Spaniard to come inside. 

"There's been an accident outside," Vachon spoke in a rush. "Drunk driver. He looks like he's dead!" 

"And *this* concerns me in *what* way, Javier?" was LaCroix's response. 

"The guy smashed his car into someone else's. It was Doc Lambert; she's hurt." 

LaCroix sprang from his chair, pushing Vachon aside as he made for the door. Vachon stood there awe-struck for several minutes before he realized that LaCroix had left the booth without going back on the air. After pushing about twenty buttons, he managed to find a recorded show to broadcast and mumbled something into the microphone about technical difficulties. He then went back outside to see what was going on. 

By the time LaCroix arrived outside, followed momentarily by Vachon, an ambulance had arrived and a crowd had gathered. Nick and Tracy were kneeling beside the drunk driver, who had been thrown from the crash. LaCroix approached them. 

"He's dead," Nick said, looking up at his master. 

"And..." LaCroix paused, glancing at Tracy, "... the *other* victim?" 

Nick met his eyes, sorrow plain to see. "She's unconscious. We won't know anything until we get her to a hospital." 

"I see. I trust you will keep me informed," LaCroix said as he turned on his heel and strode away from them. 

Tracy glanced quizzically at Nick. "Why should *he* care what happens to Nat?" she asked. 

Nick shrugged. "He owns the club. If Nat dies, he could have to face charges for serving alcohol to the man who killed her. The club could lose its liquor license, I guess." 

"Oh," replied Tracy. 

When Ellen Landry came to examine the body, Nick left Tracy with her and went to find his master. He spotted LaCroix hovering in the shadows near to the spot where the emergency crew was trying to remove Natalie from the car. 

"Hey," he said as he slipped into the shadows beside LaCroix. "You still here? I thought you'd have gone back to your show by now." Nick met his master's eyes and was surprised to find tears. "LaCroix?" 

LaCroix spoke in a low, strained voice, as if from some far away place. "If they would all leave her alone, I could save her now, Nicholas, but they don't. They... buzz around her like flies... They..." 

"They're trying to help. Everything that can be done, is, I assure you," Nick replied. He placed a hand on LaCroix's shoulder, but the elder vampire shrugged away from him. 

"Not... not everything, Nicholas," said LaCroix, his voice choking in his throat. "Natasha... my darling, sweet Natasha wanted me to..." His voice faded away as they watched Natalie's lifeless form being pulled from the car. LaCroix lurched forward, as if to go to her. Nick grabbed him, pulling him suddenly. 

"You don't know if that is what Natalie wants, LaCroix." 

"She'll die if I don't!" LaCroix hissed backed at his son. 

'You don't know that, either. She could live. Her injuries might not even be serious, but we won't know until she's safely at the hospital." Nick tightened his grip on LaCroix. "I know how you feel. I feel it, too. It's called helplessness, and I hate it, but it's all we have, LaCroix. Let the doctors do their jobs." 

"What if they fail, Nicholas? What if they fail and Natalie dies?" 

"They won't. Have a little faith, will you?" 

Their eyes met and held, each remembering a time long ago when Nick asked LaCroix to do as he said. Their debate then had been as important as this one-- determining the future the one mortal they both loved. An understanding passed between them, and Nick loosened his grip on his master. 

"Very well, then, Nicholas. I concede... but if these mortals fail to keep her safe from harm, I *shall not.*" 

***** 

Natalie awoke, opening her eyes to the glare of bright hospital lights. "Where am I?" she wondered aloud. 

"Nat... Nat, it's me. It's Nick. You're going to be all right now." 

Nat turned her head towards Nick's voice, her vision finally beginning to focus. "What happened? I remember a car... a loud crashing noise... Nick, where am I?" 

"You're in the hospital. Ambulance brought you in last night. You were pretty banged up," Nick told her. 

Nat tried to sit up, only to be hindered by a sharp pain shooting throughout her lower body. "Pretty banged up? Is that your professional opinion, Dr. Knight, or someone else's?' Nat muttered, trying to make light of her pain. 

"The doctor says you have a fractured femur. It's not too bad, really. You'll have to wear a cast, but they figure you'll be up on crutches in a few days," Nick told her cheerfully. 

"Well, that's just swell," said Nat, sarcasm dripping from each word. How can he possibly be so cheery? Nat thought. There was no reason to be happy, not now that all her plans were put on hold. How could she declare her love to Lucien from this hospital bed? "Do you think you can help me sit up, Nick? This position is getting uncomfortable." 

Nick moved to her side, and easing his arms behind her back, helped her into a sitting position. "Sorry about that." 

"Don't apologize, Nick. You couldn't have known lying on your back for the better part of a day could be the least bit painful." Nat saw Nick wince with pain and her manner softened. "Thank you, Nick," she said, laying a hand on his. 

"Nat... what were you doing at the Raven that night?" 

"I... I had to see Lucien. We had unfinished business to discuss." 

Nick sighed. "I'm sorry about that, too. I tried to locate him while he was missing... so I could set things right between us all... but I couldn't find him. By the time he finally showed up, you were gone." He looked at her meaningfully. "We were both so worried about you, Nat. Where did you go?" 

"Montreal. I went to see Janette." 

There was a long silence between them. At last, Nat spoke again. "I don't really want to discuss it right now, Nick. I'm tired." She stifled a yawn. 

"Yeah, sure. I have to work anyway. I'll... I'll see you later?" Nick leaned over to kiss her forehead before he left. She didn't stop him, as she was too tired, both physically *and* emotionally. 

" 'Night, Nick," she mumbled as her eyes drifted closed. 

Nick stood in the doorway, watching her sleep. He wondered how good his chances were of getting her back? " 'Night, Nat," he whispered as he slipped out at last. 

***** 

(A day or two later) 

Natalie hobbled into the kitchen on her crutches. She stopped when she saw Nick standing before her sink. He wore a stained cleaning apron over his black silk shirt. His arms, covered by yellow rubber gloves, were hidden up to the elbows in a sink full of dirty dishes and fluffy white suds. He must have sensed her behind him and whirled around to confront her. The sight of him placing his yellow-gloved hands on his hips in a disapproving manner was comical, and she began to laugh. 

"What's so funny?' he asked her, not the least bit amused. "And what are you doing out of bed, anyway? Get back in that bedroom right now." He pointed to the door and suds dripped off his gloved finger onto the floor. 

Nat stifled a giggle. "I'm fine, Nick. The doctor said I would be able to move around with my crutches. I don't *need* to stay in bed. What I need is some exercise and something to keep me busy." 

Nick shook his head. "You still need rest. You were sleeping when I checked on you last." 

"I wasn't sleeping, Nick. I had my eyes closed because I was bored," Nat snapped at him. "I need something constructive to do." 

"Yeah, well," said Nick, waffling a bit in response. "You can be constructive when Grace gets here after work. While I'm here, you're going to stay in bed."   


"I quite agree," came a cool, sensual voice from behind them. LaCroix stepped forward from out of the shadows, moving gracefully to her side. "Allow me to escort you back to bed, my dear," he said as he swept her into his arms, discarding the crutches that held her up. 

"Lucien!" Nat protested, although she was unable to keep laughter from her voice. 

He ignored her protest completely. Turning to Nick, he said, "I'll see to it the Good Doctor finds her way back to bed, Nicholas. You may..." he pause, assessing the situation, "... continue with your *chores.*" 

Nick glared at him silently, remembering their agreement. 

LaCroix ignored Nick's dark look as he carried Natalie back into the bedroom and gently laid her down atop the blankets. 

"I... I don't need to be in bed all day, Lucien," she told him, despite being a bit breathless. 

"Oh?" he inquired with a raised eyebrow. "I think you do." He leaned closer to her, so close that their faces nearly touched. "Just look at how tired and out of breath you are, my dear." 

"Th-that's not because of my...." her protest was cut off when their lips met in a tender kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, drawing him into the bed with her. 

As the kiss deepened, his body pressed against hers. Without warning, Natalie ended the kiss with a yelp of pain. "My leg!" she exclaimed as LaCroix quickly moved off of her and returned to standing beside the bed. 

"I am truly sorry, my dear," he apologized. 

"That's okay," she said with a sigh. She looked longingly up at him, and their eyes met. Silently, they each read into the other's soul, finding there a secret happiness. After several intense seconds, Natalie broke eye contact and looked shyly down at her quilted blanket. "Maybe..." she suggested quietly, "you could just sit here and hold me, Lucien?" She looked up at him again, the love in her eyes plain to see. "You could read to me, like you used to do." 

LaCroix smiled down at her as he selected a book from her night stand and slipped into bed bedside her. Opening the book to the first page, he began to read. 

***** 

An hour later, when Nick appeared in the bedroom door, Natalie was snuggled into LaCroix's embrace. Her eyes were closed and her lips drawn into a smile as she listened to him narrating the story. 

When Nick cleared his throat pointedly, LaCroix paused in his reading to look at his son. Nick's eyes shot daggers into his master's heart, but he said nothing. 

"Why did you stop, Lucien?" Natalie asked in disappointment. 

Nick spoke. "I was just about to cook dinner, and I was wondering... what would you like, Nat?" he asked her. 

Nat's eyes popped open with alarm. Nick, cooking? In her house? In *her* kitchen? "Uhhh... " she stammered. "You know, Nick, I really haven't had the chance to go shopping since I've been home. There's hardly any food in the house. Why don't you forget about cooking tonight and go get some take out?" 

Nick's face fell, as he had been looking forward to cooking for Natalie. "You'd rather I do that?" he asked. 

"Yeah." 

"Ok. I'll... I'll go get some Chinese for you. How does that sound?" 

"It sounds good," Nat said with a smile. 

Nick turned to leave. At the door, he turned back. "I love you, Nat," he said to her. 

"I know you do, Nick," she replied with a sigh as Nick slipped out the door. 

***** 

When he was gone, LaCroix set the book aside. Turning to her, he said, "We must talk, Natalie." 

"I know," she replied. 

"Nicholas informed me that you saw Janette," he continued. After a pause, he added, "I take it you told her about... our disagreement." 

"I did, and I also asked her to tell me about Fleur." 

"And she did so?" 

"Against her better judgment, yes. She told me that the both of you would hate her for it. Lucien... why didn't you just tell me about Fleur? It would have saved us both some heartache if you had." 

LaCroix took her hand, holding it gently. "If Janette told you everything, then you know why I could not," he said in a low voice. 

"I know... and I understand it now." 

"You do?" 

"Yes, I do, but I never want to feel that much doubt again, Lucien. I want us to always be honest with one another. I love you, and I don't want to lose you again." 

LaCroix looked at her with surprise. Drawing her to him once again, he whispered, "I love you, as well, mon amour," as he bent to kiss her lips. 

***** 

Nick stood outside the Chinese restaurant, waiting for his take-out order to be done. As he waited, he thought about all that had happened that night. He didn't quite know when it had occurred, but Natalie had chosen. When he saw her in LaCroix's arms on the bed, the only thing he knew was that he had truly lost her. He just didn't know how it had happened. A part of him-- the dark, resentful part--wanted to confront LaCroix and fight for her. The rest of him knew he could not do that. They'd agreed to allow Natalie to decide for herself which of them she wanted. Nick was just sad because it wasn't him. 

Frowning, he slipped back inside the restaurant. Paying for the food and taking it from the man at the counter, he made his way back to Nat's apartment. 

He found them where he had left them-- on the bed. Natalie looked so comfortable as she snuggled against LaCroix. She was listening intently to him as he read to her, her eyes gazing lovingly up at him. Nick felt a little sick as he cleared his throat to get their attention. 

"I'm back," he said. "I brought back all your favorites, Nat." 

"It smells delicious, Nick. Thank you," she commented as LaCroix helped her to sit up and set a tray down on her lap. 

"Yeah, I guess, " said Nick unenthusiastically as he held out a brown paper bag to LaCroix. "I stopped by the Raven and picked these up for us," he said, "but I'm not really in the mood for it right now." 

Nick's forlorn expression caused Natalie and LaCroix to stare at each other and then at him in concern. "Are you feeling well, Nicholas?" LaCroix asked his son. 

"No. No, I'm not. I'm going to go home now. I'm... I'm sure you can watch after Nat until Grace gets here." Without waiting for a response from them, he turned and fled the bedroom. 

"Poor Nick, " Nat sighed as she watched him leave. "I hope he'll be all right." 

"I'm sure he will, my dear," LaCroix said as he dished out some of the Chinese food for her to eat. "Nicholas is stronger than even he thinks. He'll be fine in time." 

Outside, Nick hovered in mid-air, watching them from the window. He'd lost her to LaCroix fair and square, and he knew it. He sighed as he saw his master gently take the chop sticks from Natalie's hand and lovingly feed her bits of chicken and rice. Wishing it could be himself with her, Nick sighed once again before flying off into the night.   
  


*finis*   
  



End file.
